Puckleberry Conversations
by D0ll
Summary: "So you and Jesse?" "Noah, I've had a very stressful night with the Jesse and Finn fight, and now Quinn-" "You're calling that a fight? It was more like a shoving match between two pansies." "Irregardles, I'd just like to go home and go to bed." "Really Rach, are you with him?" "No, we are just friends-" "Good, because if he hurts you again, I'll break that son of a bitch in half."
1. Chapter 1

"So let me get this straight, you call me up, out of the like, the fucking blue and you just expect me to do all this shit for you?!"

"Um well, yeah."

"Well, fuck me!"

"So are you coming?"

Puck sighed_, _"Give me ten minutes."

* * *

"Can I touch your tits?"

Rachel glared and crossed her arms. Puck sighed and huffed, "Fine! May I _please _touch your breast?"

Rachel smiled and uncrossed her arms, "You may."

* * *

"Rachel is a crazy, annoying, midgit!"

"I know r-..." Sam turned around to see a _very _pissed of Puck, "No, she's _not_?"

"Damn right because she's MY annoying midgit and only I'm allowed to call her that!"

* * *

"What the fuck happened to you?!"

"Excuse me Noah?"

"Your hair God damn it!"

"My hair?"

"You _cut it_, and you **_knew _**I liked it the way it was... so does _Finnocence _like your hair all short?"

Rachel tentavily touched the hair she cut in hopes of grabbing Fin''s attention, "... He didn't even notice."

* * *

"Why did you just do that?!"

"What did I do?"

"You know what!"

"..."

"My mom and you, talking! Together! That's just fuckin' great, Berry! Now she's probably got our whole wedding planned out! She's probably got your wedding dress already ordered and the court justice coming tomorrow!"

"Actually your mother and I both agreed that picking out a wedding dress takes time and having a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony would be best."

"... WHAT?!"

* * *

"Noah! Why is Jacob Ben Isreal hanging from the flagpole?!"

"How the hell am I supposed to know, maybe he climbed."

"He's screaming for his mommy and is being held by his underware!"

"What Jewfro does in his personal time is none of my concern Berry... Though I guarentee he won't be trying to look up anyone's skirt in the near future."

* * *

"Will you two _please_, just go out already?"

"Becca!" Puck screamed frantically trying to kick his nosey little sister underneath the table as Rachel dropped her fork in shock.

"What _Noah_? I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking!"

"Mom, will you please, tell **your **daughter something!"

"... Well, she does have a point, Noah."

* * *

"Noah! Aren't you worried at all what people wiill say when they realize we are back together?"

"Babe, you're with me now!" Puck exclaimed slipping an arm around her shoulders with confident smirk, "Don't worry about a thing, babe! The Puckerone got you covered."

"I don't know..."

"Berry, are you questioning my badassness, _again_?!"

* * *

"How could Noah possibly like her? She is rude, has no sence of personal hygenie and she looks like she applied that cheap lipgloss in the dark."

"Well they do have a lot in common and he said Lauren is a very talented kisser." Tina stopped when she saw Rachel face fall.

"But she's got nothing on you, Rachel!" Rachel smilied and began to walk away. "_Someone _is alittle jealous!" Tina said under her breath.

"I heard that and I am not!"


	2. Chapter 2

Fuck being good.

Puck gave up football for her, took a slushy for her, he even sang a God damn love song in front of everybody just to please her diva ass.

And what did he get in return?

Fuckin' dumped.

"I hope we can still be friends."

After she just tore his heart out and put it through a fuckin' meat grinder, she wanted to be his friend?!

And to think he was starting to really-

"We weren't friends before." Puck said his back to Rachel as he walked down the bleachers, the familiar tough guy swagger back.

It felt damn good being Puck again.

* * *

"You know this will never work out?"

"Mhmm." Puck said not looking up at her or removing his lips from her neck.

"Oh!" Rachel sighed from the effects he was having on her body before she returned to her senses, "So you do know the cliche bad boy and good girl only work in those terrible teenage movie and shows?"

"Mhmm."

"Noah?"

"Berry, all I want to hear from you for now on is "Yes Noah!" and "More Noah!" are we clear?"

"Oh Noah!"

"Well, I guess that works too."

* * *

"Finn is _dead_! He's dead, 'cause I'm going to fuckin' kill him!" Puck shouted hitting the steering wheel with his fist. Just a minute before Puck had been flying down the road, the truck screeching to a halt and ordered Rachel to get in the truck. Before she turned into a "fuckin' icicle!"

"Please Noah, Just take me home. I'm very ca-cold." Rachel said trying her best to warm up her arms with shivering and nearly frozen hands. As soon as she called Noah asking for him to pick her up, he rushed out of his house and into the road, the heater in the truck hadn't been on long enough for the vehicle to warm up.

"He left you all alone, at night, in the freezing cold, in a fuckin' _Christmas_ tree lot! Why the **_fuck _**would he even take you to a Christmastree lot?! You're Jewish Rachel!"

"Please Noah," Rachel said her sweet voice instantly calming him down. '_She's fine. Rachel is fine now. So you can calm down now, Puckerman_.' He repeated in his mind trying his best to cool off before Puck actually drove to Finn's house, to get himself charged with manslaughter and went to jail. Again. "Just take me home please, I'm very cold. Short skirts and knee socks isn't exactly the best choice for the winter season, I'm afraid I've learned that the hard way." Puck looked to his right where Rachel sat her small body huddeled up, he frowned at the way her body shook from the cold.

"Come here."

"What?"

"Come here, you're freezing God damn it!" Puck said his muscular arm stretched out for her and his other hand motioning for her to get close.

Rachel crawled over to Noah, setteling into the seat next to him, and felt his muscular arm wrapping around her shoulders, which instantly warmed her body up and made her feel safe. "You know, I was never scared, because I knew you'd come."

* * *

"Hey, Noah."

"'Sup Berry?"

"You look very good in your kippah." Rachel said and felt her face turn bright red with embarressment. Puck arched an eyebrow and grinned cockily down at her but before he could say anything, Rachel rushed out the synagogue thinking 'Finn is cute, but Jewish boys are _sexy_.'

* * *

"It's always him aint it?" When Rachel hesistated to reply Puck continued, "Don't answer that, I just got my answer." He said and walked away for the final time.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Someone asked me why I don't write more fluffy stuff. Well I'm a very traditional girl. I wanted nothing more than a husband, two kids and to be a housewife. Love hasn't worked out for me, so it's hard for me to write something I'm bitter about, and really don't believe in. Though I will try.

Plus I really just write whatever pops into my mind, I really don't consider if it's sweet, funny or angsty.

The banner and the first drabble is by mancydrew on deviantart who let me use her picture.

* * *

"I got you a slushy."

"What flavor is it? Rachel asked.

"Puckleberry."

* * *

The first day of Rachel and Puck being an official couple and Puck thinks he just hooked up with the most selfish, craziest diva on the planet.

Puck cursed his mom for guilt tripping him into going out with Crazy Berry.

"Why can't you date a nice Jewish girl?" His mom told him, well she didn't have to put up with Rachel's solo hungry, me this, me that, yada, yada, yada he had to in the mere day Rachel and him have been dating.

"Hey, Noah!" Rachel just appeared in front of him, out of fucking nowhere, because she is_ just that_ freaky, "I got you something. It's nothing really, just a little present considering you didn't have to date me and ruin your reputation, because how low I am on the social ladder-"

Shit, Rachel's is doing that crazy, fast paced, long worded speech thing again. Puck just nods his head getting the main gist of it. He's almost embarressed how excited he got when Rachel mentioned the word "gift". Puck couldn't remember the last time a girl had given him any kid of present, unless you count Quinn and the MILFS saying not to hit his ass on the way out as a gift. "So here!" Puck looked down seeing blank music sheets, his name printed perfectly in Rachel's flawless and neat cursive and gold star stickers were stuck on every corner of the paper. "I noticed how you had song sheets in your guitar case, and I thought you could start making your own music now. And here, it's a guitar pick so you don't hurt your fingers anymore while your're playing."

Rachel is smiling a big bright smile at him which Puck returns, slinging an arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek, "Thanks babe, I love it." He says walking her to class.

The second day Rachel and him are going steady, Puck thinks he has the most selfless and giving girlfriend in the world.

* * *

"So you and that Jesse kid, huh?"

"Please Noah, I've had a very stessfull night with the Jesse and Finn fight, and now Quinn- "

"You're calling that a fight?! It was more like a shoving match between two pansies."

"Irregadless, I'd just like to go home, take a nice bath, drink some tea and go to bed."

"Really Rach, are you dating him?"

"No, we are merely friends-"

"Good, because if he hurts you again, I'll break that son of a bitch in half."

* * *

"Make me something to eat woman!"

"Excuse me? But I am an idependent woman from the twenty first century! I do not need to make you dinner like some housewife from the fifties!"

"Make me a sandwich, Rachel before I hit up the nursing home for hot GILFS and find someone that will!"

"Please, don't do me a favor, Noah Puckerman! You old-"

Little Allison Berry sighed putting a hand to her cheek as she continued carefully coloring in between the lines of her coloring book. Granpa Puck and Grandma were always fighting. But when she looked up to see what damage has bee done so far, she smiled when she saw grandpa Puck take her grandmother in his arms,

"You know you're the only woman I want." Allison looked on as they shared a sweet kiss, making up again for what the five year old assumed was the millionth billionth time. The little girl sighed happily Cinderella, and Snow White could keep Prince Charming and their happily ever afters, Allison wanted a love like that some day.

* * *

Nope not Puck.

Finn might be Quinn's lapdog, Tina might have Mike by the balls, and Artie might be hung up on Britney.

Not Puck. He was a badass, that was not going to happen to him, like ever, with any chick.

"I need you to sing this song with me to make Finn jealous!"

Godd damn it, if he couldn't even hide his excited face.

And the fuckin' kicker is, Rachel is not even his girlfrined.

Fuck his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** This is officially on an hiatis! I just think there are what, like two people, that read this? So I might as well try working on something that more people enjoy reading. Besides, I'm kinda all out of ideas.

* * *

"Really Puck!" Noah's head turned like she had just slapped him, Rachel never calls him Puck.

"My own mother! How could you?!"

"You had Finn! I was alone! I wanted a family, okay?!"

"But my own mother! Why her?!" Puck turned to walk away but Rachel grabbed his shoulder, "Why?!**_"_**

"Because she reminded me of you!" He snapped suddenly making Rachel freeze. "There are you fuckin' happy?! Now go run back to Finn like usual, pretend you never heard that and this never happened."

* * *

They were always on and off. In highschool they had a pattern, repelling and connecting, like polar magnets. Would it be so different now that they are in college?

Rachel gets his number from Kurt who got it from someone else and decides to call him one night. Glad ther's no long distance on cell phones and finds herself wishing things were simpler and she could just drive over to his house.

"Who the fuck is this?!" Puck said gruffily like he just woke up and Rachel's cheeks flame. How stupid of her not to remember they lived in different time zones now.

"Noah? I'm sorry... I didn't realize it was late, or rather early where you are. I'll just hang up now-"

"No, that's okay. How have you been?"

Rachel swallows, "I've been better." She says in a strained vooice, "It's just always what I wanted but now that I'm here I feel so alone and homesick and Finn and I broke up..."

"It'll be alright Rach, tell ya what I ain't got nothing to friday why don't I head out and visit ya? We can do all that touristy shit you like?" Puck said making Rachel giggle for the first time in a long time.

* * *

Puck was many things, a juvinille deliquent, a womanizer and a bully. And he accepted that about himself. But one thing he was not, was Rachel Berry's bich.

He didn't know like, what happened to him, but the once feared ruler of Mckinly Highschool must now must have "Berry's lapdog" or some shit printed on his god damn forehead.

First the trainwreck of music video "Run Jesse Run happened." He stayed, even when there was no chance of him getting some because she was being all "faithful" and shit like that to the Jesse kid. Rachel pulled his arm and convinced him to stay. Even when they were filming it and he knew this was going to suck, Puck stayed. And he had no clue why.

Maybe it was because Rachel and him shared the same religion, maybe it was because he grew kind of twisted soft spot for the brunette when they were dating.

The sighs were already there, moving the Glist from Rachel's locker so she wouldn't see it. The anger he felt when Jesse joined New Direcions. How excited he was when Rachel invited him to her house, thinking she might have come to her scenses and realized he was a hell a lot better than Finn or Jesee.

A few days later in class Rachel is telling her story about what Jesse and Vocal Adrenaline did to her with that sad defeated look in her eyes. And he's the first one to react, not Finn, not her other friends. He jumped from his seat, storming out as the other guys followed him, fully intet on bashing Jesse's face in until his looks are only suited for radio. But Mr. Schue stops them before they left and when they are done their preformance he enjoys mocking Jesse and Vocal Adrenaline a little too much.

Maybe Rachel noticed this, how angry and defensive he became when anyone made fun or threatened her. So she decided to use it against him because underneath all those animal sweaters, Rachel is a manipulative bad ass, just ask Sunshine Corazon, and as one bad ass to another, he respected that about her.

But not when it came to him. The problem was he didn't know how to reverse caring about her.


End file.
